My Life Story

Shout if you feel the way I feel.


----EOB.

A Testimony For The People

"In search of Victory, She keeps alluding me. If only we could be together momentarily. We can make love and make History. Why won't You visit me? Until She visits me, I'll be stuck with Her sister. Her name is Defeat. She gives me agony. So much agony. She brings me so much pain, so much misery, like missing your last shot and falling to your knees."---Jay-Z


The number Zero is special to me, one which, holds a meaning. It is the shape of life. It is my life. No beginning and no ending. Constant movement and no place to stop. It is a never-ending journey. Zero is a teacher. It guides me through the seasons. Life is like the seasons, cold like winter, free like summer and a little in between, like spring and fall.

In a year where tragedies have become the norm and many are feeling the sting of the economy, the winters of this life can't get much colder. Over the last six months my world has been turned upside down. I have been given so many reasons to lose hope. I should have given up. Having come so far in life, I should have turned back and started a new road and settled for a path less scenic.

But I'm a dreamer. And my dreams have been the things which has helped me survive my difficult times. It has shielded me from a harse reality. It has allowed me to turn a blind eye to the present and focus on my future. Victory has escaped me and many times in my life I've been left with only defeat. I've learned if I stand still and remain patient, the balance of life will once again tilt in my direction. So here I am. Waiting. Working. Preparing. Dreaming. Writing. I've lost many battles. Having survived them all, I have learned to appreciate those moments. I am better for them. I am wiser because of my defeats. I have learned to celebrate when I have nothing to celebrate over. I have learned to laugh when I should be crying. My strength has come from my weakness and my character has been built with the bricks of many defeats. I have learned life will treat me no different than you. I have to earn eveything I have coming to me. Sometimes there will be no reward for my hard work. Life isn't fair, never has been and never will be. Fight when there seems to be nothing to fight for.

The following is a passage from a book I've written (and have not published yet) which spoke to and through my heart. I hope it can do the same for you.

Willie got that look on his face again. It was the same expression he had etched on his face all day and it was the same look he had worn when he informed Martez of Tracy’s pregnancy. Martez just knew Willie had something on his mind.

“What’s up, Willie? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You know me too well, ‘Tez,” Willie said.

“Tell me.”

“It’s just that… I can’t believe this is happening. I just can’t believe that I’m here, on the verge of doing something great. I’ve fought so hard, ‘Tez and now I’ve made it. I’ve gone through so much and went so many years with people never giving me a chance. When I got my chance, I made the most of it. It’s funny…I was nobody last season and I was just hoping to get some looks.”

Willie looked over at the game.

“Now look at me. In two months, I’m going to be an NBA lottery pick,” Willie said. “It kind of hits you hard sometimes. You know what? Deep down I knew this would happen. I just knew it. I kept believing in myself. Nobody else thought I was worth their time. They’d give up on me. They never believed in me— but I did. Yeah, I could have quit. I could have believed them, but I didn’t. I wouldn’t believe their lies. It was hard, ‘Tez and I struggled. Yo, I have so much to offer and it just frustrated me that nobody would notice. All I wanted to do was share my gifts with the world and give them my heart, that’s all. But for some reason—one I can’t figure out— they couldn’t or wouldn’t see me. So, I had to fight for this. But, through all of that, there was just one thing that kept me going. You know what kept me going, ‘Tez?”

“What’s that?”

“Hope,” Willie said. “Hope is all I had. I kept dreaming. I kept on believing and I wouldn’t let anybody discourage me from my dreams. That’s how I made it through. I kept hoping and believing that maybe one day they’ll believe in me and I’ll make it. I kept hoping that one day, I’d get my chance and my situation would get better. That’s what kept me encouraged. As I sat on that bench for years, I kept thinking eventhough today is a bad day, maybe, just maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll change for the better. See, that’s the great thing about new days. It’s an opportunity for change, a fresh start. It’s a chance to wake up one morning and open your eyes to a better situation than the day before. And I woke up one day this year and it did get better. Faith can move mountains, man. I deserve this—all of this. I deserve everything I’ve got coming to me. I worked too hard for this.”

“I’m proud of you, Willie,” Martez said. “I knew you could do it. I was just holding out that same hope and you made the best of it when the chance came.”

Willie smiled as he watched a man sink a jumpshot in the game they were half-watching.

“I did it because I’ve learned life is about moments, ‘Tez,” Willie said. “And when you get those moments you have to seize them. Moments are like shooting stars. They don’t come too often, but when they do, you’ve gotta capture them and hold on with all you’ve got. You don’t know when or if you’re gonna get another one. And I did. I held on. This is my moment.”

Willie smiled.

“’Tez, this is our moment,” he said.

No matter what the situation may be, keep dreaming. Keep believing. Live in the moment. Let your dreams be your guide and your protector. Lose yourself in them. This is only a season. And there will be more tests along the way. Be prepared. Don't lose faith. As long as there is a chance for another day you will be OK.

---EOB.

A Celebration Of Life

1975-Present

"We all make decisions, but in the end our decisions make us."---Tiger Woods