A Place I Call...

That feeling. Saying what’s on my mind, while knowing everything in life can’t and won’t be said. Energy. Unexpected laughter. Memories. Knowing God hasn’t given up on an extremely flawed human being. This moment, right now. A word of wisdom. Opening every morning with a celebratory dance. Ending every day with the same dance. Dry jokes. My Scarface impresssion. The "Funny Guy" scene in Goodfellas. Learning about love. Going backward in order to travel forward. Knowing words do speak louder than actions. Any time someone uses the word "misremembered" in a sentence. Wanting to add that word to my vocabulary. The business.


Tiny Dancer. Downtown Kansas City. Eighty-third street. The Great State of Kansas. Arizona. Freedom. Dennis Green’s "They are who we thought they were" rant. Almost Famous. Reflection Eternal. The David Stein Show. People who surprise me. Her country accent. When He says: "She’ll be OK." Anything worth fighting for. Anything worth crying over. The old-school 1991 Camry. My jump shot. Looking back on how far I’ve come. Calling my friends by their full names. Engaging conversations. One-sentence paragraphs. Beginning my sentences with "At the end of the day" or "At some point in time." The No. 8. July 13th. The year 2005. Drives at 3 a.m. The special people who stay when I try to push them away. Saying "I love you." Saying "I’m sorry." My left arm. My imperfections. Screaming at the top of my lungs. Rappers who say they aren’t rappers. Singers who can’t really sing. Actors who really act. Thinking "crazy" is a compliment. My mom’s decision not to name me Darryl. Struggle. Getting older. The "Golden God" scene. The word "Yo." The journey. The stuff you haven’t seen. Playing dumb. A game-winning shot. Watching a game with my dad. Those moments you can’t get back. Words that rhyme. New people. Old people. Winning. Patience. Ambition. Dreams. My skully. A good speech. Miracles. Poems. All the things I’ve left out. Getting excited for no reason at all. My dad’s work ethic. My mom’s strength. My sister’s sense of humor. Jayden’s smile. Granny’s unconditional love. All of these things being passed down to me.


Six-foot tall women. Sunny days. Cold nights. A good dream. Inspiration. Quiet. Haters. My dream of kicking it on Crenshaw Boulevard. Using 70s slang. My other dream of taking just one jump shot at Rucker Park. Baseball’s lessons in life. The things you already know. Humility. When people ask what I do for a living, telling them: "I’m a drug dealer." Lyrics. Finding the comedy in anything. Telling stories. I’m really not always angry or sad---only when I stand still. Inside jokes. Romancing the thought of falling off of the face of the earth. A fresh hair cut. Realizing I’ve been alive for 27 years. Slowing down. A good book. Columnists. Knowing I know nothing. Ralph Wiley quotes. Nathan McCall’s anger. Talent. That "Something" that burns within me. This change within me. An epiphany. Desire. This piece can never really end. A beat. Creativity. Metaphors. Double entendres. Leaders. Followers. Fading into the background. Sharing. Knowledge.


These things make me. They’re the reason I breathe. Can’t you see it in my face? These things take me to a place.


A place I call home.

---EOB.